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Lawn Order

by Jonee's Mum

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lyrics

Lawn Order

We’ve strict border control when it comes to grass.

On a daily basis we unearth a dozen plots right down

to local deadheads trying to get through claiming the pot,

after frisking them, was planted en route or back at their digs.

The drill is this: weed out the undesirables and turf the sods

in the slammer. Special Branch used to handle all the tip offs

from your Supergrass list right down to your Lady Rosemarys

willing to spill the beans. Sad as it is to say, due to fresh cuts

The Yard has had to whittle down its staff. It’s a hard graft,

for any rake, hose, or tool can be hidden in long grass.

Hence our new leaflet campaign: Keep Off The Grass.

(It Messes With Your Mind). Yes it’s gaining ground,

pushing the official, no-maintenance, roll it out,

roll it up Artificial Grass, home, so a more

relaxed Border Control can justify cuts.

Yes, we are trying to cover a lot of ground.

Yes, we are banging our heads off a brick wall.

Have you ever heard the term: the smell of cut grass

in the ghetto? This is not some lyrical homegrown line

by a chilled-out sage strimming round his crazy pavement

and water feature. It’s not that cut and dried. This is weed-

speak, and Knapweed, which is on the ‘Alert List’, is

now a fast-growing thorn in the backside. While

our unit goes to pot Bayleaf the gardener

is out raking it in. I blame the rain.

credits

released December 4, 2022
Written and Played by Jonathan Hicks

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Jonee's Mum Northern Ireland, UK

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